I'll Wait Forever Until You're Mine
by freshbubblegum
Summary: SPOILER OF THE BREAKUP EPISODE! After a horrible day, Brittany goes to sleep where she dreams of all the lifetimes she's had with Santana. Through these memories, she realizes that she's not going to let Santana go that easily. After all, she's waited so long for this chance, who knows when fate will be kind to her again.


**Author's Note: Okay, so I was supposed to be writing the second chapters for the other two stories but today's episode just left me in tears. Why did that happen?! Why did they crush my soul? Wait I'm going to put a -SPOILER ALERT- right now... BUT WHY DID THEY SING MINE ONLY TO HAVE THEM BREAK UP A MINUTE LATER. CRUELTY. AHHHHH! So many tears, my heart couldn't take it, which led me to write this. I still believe Brittana is endgame, but that it'll take them a while to get back together. I always wanted to write a story that also showed that they were soul mates, which was partially because my friend showed me 25 lives by tongari. It's really cute and worth looking at if you have the chance. I hope my story was able to convey the hope I still have in the couple because no matter what happens, Brittana will always be together. By the way, if it gets a little confusing, the dream that Brittany has is basically all the lifetimes she has had with Santana. Also, I don't own Glee... otherwise things would have gone differently.**

* * *

When she finished kissing me, she gave me one last hug before apologetically leaving the room. She had once again left me alone. What was I supposed to do now? Tears were still streaming down my face, but now that she was gone, I really began to cry. The devastation had set in and I touched my lips, reminiscing just moments before of hers touching mine.

I cried because she left, that she had seemingly given up on our relationship because the distance was putting strain on it. What happened to working through the hard times? If she really loved me the most, she would have stayed. She would have told me she would always love me and that she would find a way to make it work, but she didn't. She left and was probably driving back to Kentucky now. Wasn't it just a day ago, she lovingly confessed that she would do laundry at home because she would be able to see me? I cried because I had lost my girlfriend, my best friend, and the one person who I felt could ever truly love me.

The girl who was mine.

* * *

I had the hardest time falling asleep that night, all I could do was constantly replay that scene in my head. I had cried so much that I ran out of tears and I felt strangely emptier than I ever felt in my entire life. This was worst than when she wouldn't sing with Melissa Etheridge with me, or when she started dating Sam because she was repressing her unicornness, or even those days when I'd wait for hours for her to sign on just to find out she was too busy. What had I done wrong? I hated myself so much for being unable to graduate and follow her to Kentucky, or would it have been New York? All I could think about now were the endless possibilities. What if I had graduated? What if I had stopped her in that room and told her no, I don't accept this break up and that if we were truly in love we would make it work? What if she starts dating that Virginia Woolf girl? What if it gets too awkward now that we're only friends? What if I never see her again?

Before I knew it, I had cried myself to sleep. I had the strangest of dreams, as though it were tauntingly playing a movie reel of all our lifetimes together.

* * *

The first time I met you, I knew you were my soul mate. I was just a lowly salesgirl at my father's shop. It was a hot summer afternoon, when you came in –a nobleman's arm possessively around your waist. You were extraordinarily beautiful and immediately I knew you weren't from the area, your elegance alone didn't fit in with this small city's humbleness. You presence flaunted confidence. I had never seen you at the shop before, but when our eyes met it gave my stomach the strangest of feelings. That expression of butterflies in the tummy? That would be the first time I ever understood what it meant. Although I had been dating the butcher's son I had never felt such a powerful feeling from his kisses let alone from a mere glance. And when you saw me, you gave me a smile as you brought up the item to the counter. I returned your smile and told you that it was free of charge, my father would have lashed me for saying such a thing, but I didn't care. I just wanted to make you smile again, and you did. However, you refused my gift and left the money on the counter, our gazes holding just a little bit too long. Your suitor called to you and you turned to leave, but before leaving my store, you gave me one last look. We smiled at each other before you left. It was the last time I would ever see you this lifetime, but I never gave up the chance of seeing you again. I worked at that shop until I couldn't, hoping that I could see you once more.

The next time I see you, our lives seem to have switched. I was a countess having just married a handsome count with riches that would allow me to buy anything my heart ever desired. I had thought I had everything I ever wanted until I saw you performing at the palace, your troop was a special guest all the way from a land I had never heard of. It was that night that I saw you, a beautiful girl dressed in clothes I had never seen before. You danced around the court, smiling at the crowd as an entertainer normally would. And yet, in spite of your training, when your eyes laid on me, you faltered. It was the slightest of movements, but I could see you were looking at me as though you were trying to remember where you had seen me before, not just as some countess. However, you immediately regained yourself and flashed me the brightest smile. I gasped as I suddenly felt that feeling of love again. When the show was over, and I tried to find you amongst the crowd of people I could care less for, I was informed that you were gone. Once again you had evaded me, but I never gave up the chance of seeing you again. Every year, I went to that palace to see if you would perform again. You didn't.

The next three lives I live, I don't see you at all and my life feels empty. I was a painter, a sculptor, and an artist. In which order I forget, but all I could remember is that anytime I saw someone I didn't know, I looked extra hard to see if they were you. Perhaps at that time I didn't even know that I was looking for you, but I always knew I loved you. My paintings, sculptures, and drawings were all of you.

The sixth lifetime I have, I meet you. I was a young schoolgirl as were you. We became the best of friends and it reminded me of the life I have now. We grew up together telling each other our greatest secrets, fears, and loves. And at the ripe age of sixteen, you would tell me that you were in love with a boy named Noah. My heart clenched at these words because deep down in my heart I knew you were mine. And while I treasured this as the first time we grew up together, I was torn as I watched you love another. I cursed at the skies for tormenting me. But you were happy, and begrudgingly, I told myself, if you were happy then I was too. I stayed by your side as your best girl until you would later die from pneumonia.

As though angry at me, fate decided to be even crueler. The seven lifetime I had was one of the greatest regrets of my life. It was strange because in this one, we were men and there was a war. We were on opposing sides and perhaps the best soldiers of our platoon. And when the battle began, we ran towards each other, our helmets blocking our faces, but not our eyes. With swords, we fought as valiantly as we could and even during the fight I wondered how you knew my moves so well. How did our battle turn almost into some kind of intimate dance? But I was always better at dancing wasn't I, and it was I that pierced my sword through your chest, puncturing a lung and maybe more. And when your limp body fell to the floor, I wanted to see the face of my opponent. How horrified my face must have seemed when I saw it was you. And though I had just been the victor of the battle, the unmoving, unloving gaze you give to me pierces my heart and I feel myself die. It was indeed the cruelest moment of our lives. My fellow soldiers do not understand the tears shed in your death. You are my enemy, but you were my greatest weakness. I gave you a proper funeral, and in the next battle, I died. It didn't matter though, I had died long before that other man managed to kill Pierce the Piercer. I hated this lifetime, and swore never to hurt you again.

The eighth lifetime was almost an apology from the heavens. We had met each other because our boyfriends were mutual friends. For a second, I think that this might be the lifetime you recognize me because when you saw me, you immediately gave me a hug. It was as though you were saying it's okay, I understand, I'm sorry you had to wait so long. We become closer than we had ever been, and I wonder if you remembered our previous lives as I did. There were times I wanted to ask and tell you how happy I was to finally be in your life again, but I never did. But that was fine because every time I looked as though I were going to you would give me a knowing smile. Your hand would cup my cheek and whisper to me, sweet darling, don't fret, I am here. These were the happiest memories I had for a long time. Even though we didn't get to grow up together, we still became the closest of friends as adults. The best part? Once while we were looking at the stars at night we saw a shooting star and I asked if you made a wish. You admitted that you didn't, which surprised me. Why not I asked. And you told me how you already had the thing you most wanted. What was it I asked thinking it would be something like your boyfriend Mike, or a good family, or a good life. You turned to me and gave me the best smile you could, like the first time I met you so many lifetimes ago and said, I just want you. We kissed that day. You kissed with such fervor I could tell you were apologizing for the many days, months, years, lifetimes that we weren't together. It was one of the simplest loves we've ever had.

The next lifetime, I think I just barely see you. I had just finished an audition, and when I walked off the stage, you walked right past me – our shoulders even bumped. At that time, I didn't think too much of it, but it was enough for me to turn and see your brown hair flowing through the wind as you take my place on stage. My heart pounded in my chest but I didn't know why. I couldn't really make out your face, the stage crew quickly escorted me off the set. I never saw you again, but just before I left I heard that your choice of song was something called "I Just Want You…"

The next couple lifetimes I began to wonder if those words, I just want you, were a code that you were looking for me too. Because even though we never really met, I still saw you, still loved you. Like the time you were a famous singer, and I would see you ads of you plastered all throughout the city. Your songs would be on the radio, and though I was too poor to afford tickets to go to your concerts, I would wait with your many fans hoping to get a glimpse of you. You sang of love, your most popular single titled "I Just Want You," and I wondered if you were singing about me. I wondered if you remembered the meaning behind those words as I did, or was it mere coincidence.

And throughout our lifetimes, I searched for you, hoping that there would be one where we'd get to be together again. It was hard, times were hard and sometimes people weren't too kind. Sometimes you were too scared of what others would think since things like race, religion, and genders were becoming complications. That didn't mean we didn't have our times of happiness though. And in those moments I would wonder. Would this last? Would we end up together or would fate tear us apart as it has before? What if I don't see you again? What if you're already happy without me? What if it's not you? What if this is the last time?

This lifetime is hard. We're born in a small town that seems to be unfriendly toward same sex couples. It would be just like fate to make us both girls, but we have been so before, just as we've been two boys, one boy and one girl, and much more. I was glad to have been able to grown up with you again, to be able to learn of your secrets, to a part of your past. There were so many times when we'd lie looking at each other I'd wonder if you remembered? And when I'd try to trigger your feelings for me, you had pushed me away ashamed. I had feared that this would be another lifetime where you did not love me. I watched as you hid your love, like a beautiful flower that had receded into a bud, and tried to convince that our times were for nothing. I broke a little that day. It was only when I started dating a boy named Artie did you begin to open up again as though you missed me, as though you loved me. And then you said your special code, "I just want you." At that moment, I wanted nothing more than to take you into my arms and tell you of our love, but I didn't. It wasn't right and you were too late. I wondered if I had purposely been cruel to you because you had hurt me and I wanted you to feel the consequences of your actions. Of course, I could never do that to you, it was the furthest thing from my mind. I swore never to hurt you again didn't I? Though I suppose unintentionally I did.

I wondered if you could understand how happy I was when we finally got together. It almost rivaled our first lifetime together as a couple. It had been so long that we had a chance for true happiness I wondered if it were too good to be true? It was.

You graduated. I didn't.

You started your journey into the real world. I was struggling to understand the importance of pictures in science textbooks and weird old people in history class.

Your life was becoming a fluid, moving so fast, changing so fast that I couldn't hold onto it. I was stuck.

But even then nothing prepared me for today when you broke up with me. It was like losing you all over again, and having all those previous fears resurface. However, looking back everything I've been through has told me that this isn't the end of our story. No. I had gone through many other lifetimes searching for you, waiting for you, hoping for you to come back to me. Why should this be any different?

You are the love of my life.

To me, you will always be the most beautiful person in every aspect. I will gladly do anything I can to rewrite the ending to our stories, so that we'll always end up together.

I am yours, proudly so.


End file.
